BEST MODERN HONG KONG ACTION DIRECTORS AND THEIR SICKEST FILMS

Hong Kong’s film industry is one of the biggest in the world even though you may never have heard of any of its movies. If you are OK with subtitles or you can understand Cantonese, there are some of the best action movies ever made harkening from this little island. Many of the tropes of the bullet ballet were created and mastered in Hong Kong. John Woo is the ultimate director of this genre. The triad film or Chinese gangster film is the be all end all of HK action cinema. Relentlessly mined, it has been the go-to genre for the last 30 years. There have been a bunch of crap films made but every once in a while, a polished diamond rises from the ranks. Don’t expect perfection with all of these recommendations. However, excitement and glorious entertainment are sure to be found.

John Woo

The Killer, Hard Boiled, A Better Tomorrow

Woo became so successful, he managed to have a short but reasonably bright film career in Hollywood. Hard Target and Face Off being his peak moments while in silver city. His best films are his 80’s and early 90’s HK outings and they are untouchable in their elite perfection of the bullet ballet genre. Heroic bloodshed being another term used to describe the hyper-buddy action style. Totally brilliant and amazing to behold.

Johnnie To

Full-time Killer, The Mission, Election 1 and 2, PTU

What John Woo was to the 80’s and 90’s, Johnnie To was to the 2000’s to present. Though his style is not a massive as John Woo, some of his films have a smarter more poignant touch that gives them some soul. The Mission is essentially a modern version of a spaghetti western. All the recommendations are full of action and will satisfy your adrenaline fix.

Andrew Lau

Infernal Affairs, Young and Dangerous

Infernal Affairs was adapted into the Scorcese film The Departed. The original HK film was an excellent and original film in its own right. A sequel and prequel were also made but the sequel is utter trash whereas the prequel is decent. Young and Dangerous is a mid-90’s smash that spawned a gazillion other sequels… Low ranking triads never looked so well. A very cool movie loaded with action.

Tsui Hark

Once Upon a Time in China, Time and Tide, The Blade

Originally, better known as John Woo’s main producer, his action directing career really took off at the beginning of the 90’s. Once Upon a Time in China and its sequels are martial arts masterpieces that helped to make Jet Li hyper-famous. Time and Tide is a bullet ballet that uses tons of tricks to push the action to a new level. Picture two men repelling down a massive tenement while firing automatic machine guns at each other. Very sick.

Wilson Yip

SPL, Ip Man, Flash Point

SPL is considered one of the best of the modern triad films ever made. A great story with lots of action and some nice introspective moments. The Ip man series is for fans of the freshest martial arts action. Donnie Yen became super famous from these films. His punches are wicked fast. Flashpoint also has Donnie Yen but the film takes place in a modern setting. Some very cool martial arts action in this film as well.

5 ROCK N’ ROLL SONGS OFF THE BEATEN PATH

The following rock n’ roll songs are not the most obscure songs out there but they aren’t what you would call obvious examples of the genre. The point of this article is to give your gym music/driving fast music collection a lil breath of fresh air; a sharp punch to the ribs if you will. It’s not easy to find great rock tunes that aren’t totally played out but I am pretty picky so I hope you can appreciate these tunes for what they are: rare and sick shredders.

Wah Wah

George Harrison

Yes, this first song is by an ex-Beatle and maybe that makes you think this whole list is a hoax if I am trying to pass off one of the most famous dudes in rock to ever live as having made a song that isn’t hyper-famous. Well, have you heard it before? Hmm? Just listen to it and you can thank me later. BTW, wah-wah is apparently a British way of saying headache.

Hello! Hello! I’m Back Again

Gary Glitter

The guy who wrote this song is not a good person but this track was made before he became evil and it is a real stomper. Think Ballroom Blitz with 1/4 the cheese factor plus 50% more bopping.

Western Union

The Five Americans

A pretty obscure band from Oklahoma, this song was the band’s biggest hit. It’s a feel-good garage track with a unique organ part that makes the song extra sick.

Sunday You Need Love

Oblivians

This track is from the late 80’s to mid-90’s garage revival scene that went down in certain parts of the southern states of the USA. This tune is a cover but it has been thoroughly reworked and bound up in a heavy vibe of rawness.

Really Bees

Ovlov

These guys are from a little town in Connecticut. They make music that’s a cross between Dinosaur Jr., the Swirlies and something else. This particular track is massively heavy and wicked in its intensity and pure shred-ability. I don’t know what they are talking about but I’m still bobbing my head.

CAR OF THE MONTH: RENAULT 5 GT TURBO

There are many small cars out there. Take for instance the Geo Metro: a two-door hatchback that looks like a more crap version of a Neon with an even more junk engine. Often, these kinds of small cars make us think they only exist to fill the bottom end of the car market — if you can afford a bigger car, you don’t buy the small one. There are exceptions and the Renault 5 GT Turbo is definitely an exception.

The car was beautiful from the first iteration in the 70’s but it wasn’t until the second generation model (1984-1996) was released that the GT Turbo model was released. The only group N car to win an overall World Rally Championship, it was fast right out of the factory. The design of this generation was by the Italian master, Marcello Gandini. Having designed the infamous Lamborghini Countach, his work for the Renault was obviously less aggressive but its subtle design was appreciated by millions of purchasers.

The 5 GT can do 0-60 mph in 7.5 seconds. A ridiculous feat for car Joe Blow could just buy off the lot. Apparently, there are some issues with controlling the vehicle when you first take off but that only raises the persona of this beast in my eyes as it makes it seem almost untameable and even a freak of the street that’s too powerful for it’s own good.

Not to be confused with the Renault 5 Turbo, which was a car whose design also had the help of Gandini. This version had the engine behind the driver and had giant air scoops on the side, behind the doors to help cool said engine. It was a major force to be reckoned with in the rally scene as it had many big wins in the WRC circuit during the 80’s. Not an easy car to find since just under 5000 were ever produced for regular humans to purchase. A very striking car and obviously I want one but that probably won’t happen anytime soon. The GT Turbo, on the other hand, is much easier to acquire though you might be shipping it in from France (insert wink face and tongue-out-of-mouth emojis).

INSTAGRAM COMMENTS MEMES VOL. 1

There is a secret style of writing not formally recognized because of it’s subtle and abstract nature, but I feel it is time to let the world know. What I am talking about is the long form of an Instagram comment. This publishing method, typically used by the writer, comments repeatedly on random and unrelated posts, which makes it difficult to find these comments. But I have started collecting them for you, and the following is a love story about M&M’s.

Vol 1: The Weak Must Die

 
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M: the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.” This week they wrote back to thank me and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this “grant money.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.

 

ROLLING TRAYS & STASH BOXES: WHAT TO LOOK FOR

Joints, blunts, cones, whichever your preference, rolling can be a little messy. A little bit of cannabis will always fall over regardless of how much an expert roller you are. A rolling tray helps catch the debris, which could grow into a significant quantity over time. Rolling trays are the easiest and most efficient, way to save your weed without doing anything. Just roll your weed over the tray and conserve the leftovers.

Rolling trays

A flat surface is probably the most significant feature of a good rolling tray and is instrumental in creating a convenient space. The size of a tray is completely preference and depends on the quantity of weed you’re likely to make into a joint. If you’re just going to keep the tray at home, then It would help to have a bigger tray which can hold peripheral accessories like grinders, filters, etc. However, if you’re someone who travels, then your rolling tray takes on a different approach. Look for a good travel stash case that you can also roll on when it’s opened up, like an Otterbox Drybox.

As for the style of the tray, that totally depends on your taste. You can go for something totally inconspicuous like a stainless steel tray, a stylized Rastafarian designed tray, or one of our leather Primo trays. At the end of the day, you can roll your joint on any flat surface, for instance, a table or a book. But a rolling tray helps you keep everything organized with an exclusive space to safeguard your joint.

Stash Boxes

In contrast to rolling trays, stash boxes are helpful in keeping all your cannabis related items safe and secure rather than just the cannabis itself. Anybody who frequently rolls up a joint would attest that there’s an art to it, and it involves more than just licking and tucking the paper. While you can keep bigger items like bong, chillums, vapes, and pipes on display or in the attic, smaller accessories like grinders, lighters, etc. are messy and dank. Preserve these things away from the outside world.

What’s in it?

• Weed flowers
• Rolling papers
• Lighter
• Grinder
• Poker
• Concentrates
• Dab tool
• Vaporizer

Things to consider:

• Eye drops
• Humidity and odor control
• Black pepper
• Ashtray
• Topicals
• Edibles

If you’re smoking every day or occasionally, it doesn’t matter, get yourself a rolling tray. Even if you don’t know how to roll joints, trays are very helpful in keeping all your weed in one place. And if you want to learn how to roll a killer joint, this article has all the tips to roll like a pro: https://itsprimo.com/thc/how-to-roll-the-perfect-joint/

HOW DID HARRISON FORD GET HIGH WITHOUT ROLLIES?

THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK

During the filming of the 1st original Star Wars, Harrison Ford would get driven to the set. On the way, according to his driver at the time, he would smoke a large joint. One day claiming, he had run out of rolling papers, he came into the car with a saucepan instead of a joint. Apparently, he had heated it up and put his weed in it. Then while in the car, he lifted the lid of the pot and inhaled. This was an effective method for getting him stoned. I don’t know how hot the pot was. I don’t know if he had achieved combustion or if he had the pot at a more modest temp and therefore had actually vaped using the pot. Who knows? Maybe no one knows. Not even Harrison.

But we do know that this method definitely works. In fact, it might be one of the sickest ways to get high with thy cannabis. The fact is, if you heat up a pot with a lid on a stove at a really low temp (make sure the pot doesn’t have a non-stick coating as that would be toxic), you can get massive vape draws. Think about it: the pot’s bottom is the size of the “bowl”. Do you have a bowl you vape from that’s 6, 8, or 10 inches in diameter? I didn’t think so. You can throw the crappiest weed into it and as long as you put enough in, you WILL get smashed. I am talking shake-quality weed and you will still get KOed, due to the sheer amount of vapor quickly produced.

We’re not saying buy shitty weed. But there are a couple scenarios that have us inspired to try this out. Thank you, Harrison Ford. Like trying to get high with low-level weed using a traditional wand-style vape would take 50 times longer. I should mention, you will also need some kind of straw or tube or whatever to suck the vapor out of the pot. The easiest thing to do is to roll up a piece of paper into a giant non-melting straw (it will burn so don’t leave it on the stove or something stonerish like that). It’s also good to have a saucepan lid that has a little hole in it so you don’t have to lift the lid to take a toke.

So when the fuck would you actually do this? Maybe you’re at a house party and no one has rollies. Or maybe you’ve got a serious weed emergency on your hands, and all you’ve got is old, dried out weed. Do not stress my extreme stoner friend. Just find a pot in the cupboard, turn on the stove and toke. It’s that easy. Maybe there are some shitty chemicals coming from the saucepan so don’t do it every day. But damn, it’s so awesome.

HONEY STRAW DABS & NECTAR COLLECTORS

What’s a Honey Straw / Nectar Collector?

Short answer: They are on in the same. The industry hasn’t quite decided which is the more popular term yet. But these things use a ceramic heating arm to burn through extracts with ease. The heating arm is surrounded by another layer of unheated porcelain and a gap of air that contains the heat. This apparatus is attached to a casing that holds the battery and a mouthpiece for the device. The honey straw element is on the opposite end of where the mouthpiece is so you literally use the device the way you would a straw (sucking from the bottom up). However, instead of slurping up a Roy Rogers, with a honey straw, you’re sipping from the glorious rainbow of choices in available extracts.

honey straw

The idea is to place the “straw” directly into the concentrate and take away. Using this method, you can literally vacuum up little bits of leftover shatter. You can also take it easy, and happily smash massive dabs with very little effort. No e-nails, no butane torches are necessary. It’s almost too easy cause I ended up getting very shredded testing my honey straw. The tokes are enormous and seemingly endless. Toke after toke with total ease. Not to mention flavor really comes through. Especially with that heat setting in the low to medium zones.

dab pen

My only issue with some of these cheaper honey straws is that once you dip in, the residue of the extract gets richly embedded into the ceramic heating arm. It’s a curse and a blessing… On one hand, you can take the toke with you and toke it for up to or even more than a dozen times. The flip side is if you just want to taste little bits of your shatter collection, you have to do a lot of toking to clear each strain from the straw. But a high-end dab straw like the LINX Ares will burn right through any residual residue each hit.

munchies

You know when you have 6 kinds of shatter and you want to recreate that feeling you get when you are eating at an all-you-can-eat Indian food restaurant? OMG, NAAN BREAD! It’s too good! It’s kind of like that.

The Discreet Person’s Dab Tool Of Choice

In reality, the honey straw is a revolution for the at-home or on-the-go dabber, who appreciates something very basic (cuz you basic), without sacrificing taste (which makes this practice essentially the Coles Notes of dabbing). These guys take up way less space too. I just remembered that. And if you’re just someone looking for the simplest way to get acquainted with concentrates, because traditional dab rigs seem too intense, then this one’s for you. These things are so damn sick.

WHITE VS BLACK ASH WEED

IS BLACK ASH TOXIC?

There’s a debate in the Cannabis community that’s been raging for a ZILLION years: does the color of your burned ash actually dictate quality. Here’s what some people assert: if your joint burns black instead of white or grey, then you are dealing with a plant that was over-fertilized or treated with chemicals. The taste, flavor, strength, and look of bud are not affected by the added use of said chemicals. So the only way to tell is to smoke it.

joint

Factors

We need to look at two different stages in the farm to table process: flushing and curing. Clean water is supposed to remove any residual trace of carbon or nitrate potentially present in the farming process. If it’s not dried properly, then you might argue the chemicals didn’t perspire entirely. But the way in which you smoke it can affect the color without any extra fertilizers or bad chemicals present. You might get a false positive from lighter fumes, rolling paper dyes, or some other factors unkownnnn. It’s probably something most people who smoke weed don’t even consider. But for the heavy tokers out there it’s a real thing.

organic rollies

THE TEST

If you are using neutral smoking accessories/rollies (no chemical additives, etc) then there is a test you can do to see if the weed has been washed properly or not. Here’s what you do: Smoke down a joint and ash it onto white paper. Then with your finger, rub the ash. If the ash turns to powder and is a greyish or white color, then it’s been properly washed or not had bad chemicals used in its growing process. If the ash is a bit sticky and turns a color that is closer to black than white, then there is a decent chance that the weed was not washed properly.

black ash

Is it the end of the world if my weed burns black?

No, probably not. Chances are, it’s you doing the test wrong or this whole ash thing is in fact just utter BS. There are some people that say your weed will always burn black because that’s what happens when you combust things: they turn black. If you don’t need to go to a hospital after smoking “black ash” weed, then don’t worry bout it :-D.

STASH WEED & CONCEAL THE SMELL

Air Purifier

If you’re smoking indoors, this one’s a must. There’s a lot of options these days that will take the air in your room and clean it, but they can get pretty pricey. They take up space and they make noise but they are effective in destroying all smells from whatever room they are placed in, just make sure the one you get it powerful enough to cover the square footage of your room(s).

Mason Jar

It’s an old and effective solution that’s helped stash people’s weed for decades. But don’t drop it though cause it’s made of glass :-D.

Smoke Buddy

This is really only useful if you are vaping, because your bowl, bong or joint is still going to stink. But when you exhale through this, all of the smell, smoke and vapor is eliminated.  Very nice device. Make sure you get the junior as the other ones do the same thing but are too big to conceal.

Sploof

A dryer sheet plus an empty paper towel roll and then some elastic bands make a shitty version of the smoke buddy. Dryer sheets apparently give you cancer so maybe take this suggestion with a grain of salt…

Skunk Bags

These dudes make a ton of different backpacks and other types of bags to put smelly things in. They build carbon filters right into their products. Pretty dope.

Stashlogix

Another company making smell-proof bags. Their aesthetic is more in line with camera bags which is hella wack but at least they are made in the USA. They do make a little bag that is really nice though (if you get it in black) and it’s cheap. Check it.

Abstain from smoking (yah right)

This is not a product but is instead a simple strategy that is guaranteed to keep the smell of weed out of your life. Just quit smoking/vaping/dabbing/etc full stop and the smell of weed will be no longer.

Dube Tubes

These plastic cylindrical tubes with a plastic stopper for a lid makes me think of candy packaging but once again, you will be surprised to find these actually work in keeping the smell of your joint or spliff under wraps.

Smellyproof bags

At first glance, you may think these bags are just ordinary plastic bags but when you throw a particularly pungent batch into one of these, you will notice the smell disappear like a light switching from on to off. It’s really quite miraculous. Damn, they are cheap as hell too.

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